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Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Monday, 23 November 2009
Readddddyyyyy OK!!!!
Readddddyyyyy OK!!!
‘Are you packed mom?’ Vics demanded.
It was Thursday, four o clock and I was trying to finish a really dull work report. ‘Umm yes,’ I lied.
She fixed me with a stern glare, well I imagine she did because we were on the phone and I couldn’t actually see her but had I been able to I’m pretty sure she would have been glaring.
‘We’re leaving tomorrow Mother – I think you should start packing.’
Ah – I’d become ‘mother’. I’m only ‘mother’ when the girls want to moan about something or remind me of my motherly duties i.e. handing over cash or cleaning their rooms.
‘Yes, yes don’t worry it’s all in hand,’ I insisted.
Of course it wasn’t, the weekend had sort of come upon me without me really noticing. Now I had no choice but to face the horrible truth. It was THAT time again... the cheerathon.
For you lucky lucky readers who have no idea what I’m talking about I’ll fill you in. My daughter is a cheerleader; I’m admitting it right now, no shame, no shudders. She cheers, for what I don't know. Not for a team or a club or anything - in fact now I think about it the only thing they cheer is themselves.
Brighton was the destination, perfect in the spring or the summer - not so perfect with 40mph winds and spray that soaks through your hoodie right in to your soul.
Our aim, the Southern Classics, the cheerleading competition of the year. 50 squads battling for supremacy – the winning squad reigning victorious for a whole six months.
A whole weekend of approx 1000 girls ranging from 5-18, a whole weekend of glitter and sparkles and pinkness and shrieks and giggles and screams and ah gods the pain.
‘Are you sure you really want me to come?’ I’d asked a few weeks previously. ‘You’ll be with your friends and stuff and probably won’t want me there.’
She’d brushed my feeble escape attempt aside. ‘Yes mom I want you to come, I love you being there.’
‘Yes but...’ I’d added.
She changed tactics with the speed of an attacking cobra. ‘Are you saying you don’t want to then mom? Are you saying you can’t be bothered to watch me perform?’
‘No of course not,’ I’d hastily reassured her.
It was a lie.
The cheerathon happens twice a year – 4 days in total – 40 hours of nonstop cheer mixes (youtube them and feel my pain) and chants all starting with Reeeaddddyyyyy OK!
Lest you all think I’m some monster sending her young child alone to the southern edge of our country I should point out that Vics is fifteen. She was going with her whole squad – like a hundred of them and was fully chaperoned. She knows I loathe the whole cheer thing with a deep and desperate intensity yet she insists I attend every performance. Perhaps she wanted my company you may think, well.... erm no. I think I was graced with about an hour of her presence (awake) all weekend.
‘I don’t know why you wanted me to come,’ I moaned on the second day. ‘You don’t even sit with me.’
‘Mom!’ She exclaimed – hands on hips, eyebrows raised. ‘Don’t be so sad I can’t sit with you. My friends will laugh. No one sits with their moms!’
‘Fine,’ I replied. ‘I’m fine on my own anyway.’
She turned to walk away but not before her eyes fell upon my book.
‘Ohmygod mom are you reading a textbook?!!! A textbook?!!!!’ She screeched.
I looked down at the offending book. ‘Yes, look there’s this really interesting article on the alignment of the galaxy with...’
Vics looked around frantically and hushed me with her hands. ‘Mom why can’t you be like the other mom’s and read Heat or something?’
‘Now princess don’t start me on the whole celebrity thing, the ridiculous circus that...’
‘Shhhh, shhhh,’ Vics whispered.
She looked me up and down and sighed, I knew exactly what she was thinking. Vics is a girly girl. She loves to wear shiny clothes and make-up and all that nonsense. It pains her greatly that I often leave the house in combats, a hoodie and uggs with nay a scrap of make-up in sight.
‘Just... just try and be normal mom,’ she pleaded.
And that pretty much summed up the entire weekend. You see I’m not stupid I know full well that I’m like a hard boiled sweet in a field of deluxe chocolate. The other mom’s are like an alien species to me. They stand at the sidelines and cheer along with their daughters. They wear t-shirts saying ‘Cheer Mom and Proud’ or ‘Ava’s Mom’.
I’m sorry but really who cares whose mom you are – I don’t even know who Ava’s is! Who, I ask you can possibly spend five hours talking about dresses and glitter and whether the last basket toss was high enough.
Maybe it’s harsh of me but I look at these moms primping and fussing over their pre-teen daughters and think dear lord woman you need to get a hobby.
It’s all so American, so pointless and so false. The teams all cheer each other even though they hate one another. Individual cheerleaders in the squad bitch about one another.
‘She’s such a show off and that dress... well I wouldn’t you know – not with those thighs.’
‘I know, no wonder her jumps are so low.’
I heard those pearls of wisdom from two eleven year olds, that’s right ELEVEN.
‘You’ll be fine just take some calpol and put a bit more glitter on,’ said one mom to her small daughter. The child was clearly ill – snot dripping everywhere and tears trailing down her face.
‘That’s right big smile now don’t let the squad down!’
Yes she was one of those t-shirt wearing woman.
Anyway the whole weekend was painful and boring and I have told Vics in no uncertain terms that it’s my last one ever... EVER!
‘Don’t worry mom,’ she replied as she back-combed her pony for the millionth time. ‘Next time we’ll get you a cheer mom t-shirt, that way you won’t feel left out....
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Friday, 30 October 2009
Make me a devil mother!!!!
So it’s the day before Halloween and there I am getting ready to gut a pumpkin when my youngest daughter enters the room, hands on hips glaring in my direction.
‘Bear?’ I ask as I eye up where to make the first incision. I should insert here that I really wanted to put an apron on and turn the dining table into a squash-type operating room but was banned by my teen daughter Vicci, who rolled her eyes, declared me ‘sad’ and encouraged me to ‘get a life’.
‘Mom!’ shrieks Sarah (who we all call Bear, Sarah-Beara, get it...?). ‘I just thought to myself that maybe you haven’t thought ‘cause you’ve been too busy,’ (pointed nod in the direction of my laptop) ‘writing! – But what AM I wearing for Halloween?’
I freeze guiltily, so consumed with my pumpkin prep I hadn’t given much thought to costumes and such.
‘Erm hmmm Bear, erm are you trick or treating?’ I ask.
I hope that she says no, I mean really can there be anything worse than standing in the cold dressed as a demon (they always make me dress as a demon) whilst kids flitter about consuming vast quantities of sweets – which I should add they NEVER share - and stabbing me with their little devil horns.
‘OF course I am mom,’ Bear replies as if it should have been obvious to me. ‘I’m going to get LOADS of sweets and eat them all and be sick.’
Well that’s settled then – who am I to argue with such a declaration?
‘What are you thinking of going as?’ I ask.
Her face lights up with satisfaction. ‘A devil!’
Now the thing is she’s a devil every single year - on Halloween I mean - not generally in life... well not all the time at least. The amount of red jeans and t-shirts I’ve brought is staggering and every year she gets her little pumpkin trick or treat bag out and insists I paint her face and make her look as evil as possible. Now you’re probably thinking thumbs up, if it’s the same outfit every year no doubt I have all the stuff to hand, what’s the prob?
Hmmmm... now this is where I’m starting to look at the clock and do some mental calculations and panic. You see we moved last year and as part of my ‘life makeover’ i.e. too lazy to pack properly I chucked or gave loads of stuff away. At the time when I was stuffing the detritus of my life into black bag after black bag I remember thinking, you might regret this Em and now that moment has arrived. In my mind’s eye I’m seeing a flash of red and a little horn peeking out of the bin and thinking sh*t.
‘Right then well we should erm go the shop then,’ I say.
‘I want to look like a grown up devil this year mom!’ Bear insists. ‘I’m not a baby anymore – I want to be a proper devil!’
I remove my surgical gloves with a satisfying smacking noise, pop the pumpkin to one side and ask my ten year old ‘grown up daughter’. ‘What does a grown up devil look like then?’
She puckers her little brow in consideration, ‘Like a... DEVIL!’
Five minutes later were standing in the Seasonal aisle in Morrison’s along with a million other we-forgot-as-well-until-five-minutes-ago parents. The Halloween stand has been turned into something resembling a jumble sale and I eye it in horrified fascination. I mean really I am not exaggerating when I say that parents are elbowing each other aside (politely of course this is middle class England after all) and foisting their children right in to pluck out the juiciest plums. Werewolfs, witches and other bizarre creatures scuttle past me holding swords and pumpkins aloft in victory.
‘A devil then mom,’ Bear says to prod me into action.
I can’t help but notice that she, clearly being rather cleverer than I, has taken refuge next to the Christmas display which is still relatively quiet.
‘We could just use lipstick?’ I suggest.
‘I need horns mom, EVERYONE knows that devils have horns and a stick and a cape!’
A cape? Since when did devils have capes? I shake my head knowing that it’s easier to just go with my orders.
‘I’ll grab anything that’s red and chuck it out to you then,’ I say and she nods in agreement.
‘Yes, just go for red but not blood I don’t want to be a vampire, Vicci’s being a vampire,’ (her older sister, teen twilight addict and general vampire devotee) ‘and they’re rubbish – especially Edward Cullen!’
I had tried to get Vicci to dress as a character out of one of my books but apparently it doesn’t count because no one would know who she was.
‘You can tell them,’ I’d suggested. ‘And give them one of my little website cards.’
Suffice as to say she’d refused and I was now inclined to agree with Bear. ‘You’re right Vic’s would have looked much better as a disaster survivor.’
‘Mooooommmmmmm!!!!!!’ Bear wails as the crowds move in even closer.
I eye the throngs again and wonder - am I going to be brave enough to jump into the melee and search out the devil?
‘Bear?’ I ask as I eye up where to make the first incision. I should insert here that I really wanted to put an apron on and turn the dining table into a squash-type operating room but was banned by my teen daughter Vicci, who rolled her eyes, declared me ‘sad’ and encouraged me to ‘get a life’.
‘Mom!’ shrieks Sarah (who we all call Bear, Sarah-Beara, get it...?). ‘I just thought to myself that maybe you haven’t thought ‘cause you’ve been too busy,’ (pointed nod in the direction of my laptop) ‘writing! – But what AM I wearing for Halloween?’
I freeze guiltily, so consumed with my pumpkin prep I hadn’t given much thought to costumes and such.
‘Erm hmmm Bear, erm are you trick or treating?’ I ask.
I hope that she says no, I mean really can there be anything worse than standing in the cold dressed as a demon (they always make me dress as a demon) whilst kids flitter about consuming vast quantities of sweets – which I should add they NEVER share - and stabbing me with their little devil horns.
‘OF course I am mom,’ Bear replies as if it should have been obvious to me. ‘I’m going to get LOADS of sweets and eat them all and be sick.’
Well that’s settled then – who am I to argue with such a declaration?
‘What are you thinking of going as?’ I ask.
Her face lights up with satisfaction. ‘A devil!’
Now the thing is she’s a devil every single year - on Halloween I mean - not generally in life... well not all the time at least. The amount of red jeans and t-shirts I’ve brought is staggering and every year she gets her little pumpkin trick or treat bag out and insists I paint her face and make her look as evil as possible. Now you’re probably thinking thumbs up, if it’s the same outfit every year no doubt I have all the stuff to hand, what’s the prob?
Hmmmm... now this is where I’m starting to look at the clock and do some mental calculations and panic. You see we moved last year and as part of my ‘life makeover’ i.e. too lazy to pack properly I chucked or gave loads of stuff away. At the time when I was stuffing the detritus of my life into black bag after black bag I remember thinking, you might regret this Em and now that moment has arrived. In my mind’s eye I’m seeing a flash of red and a little horn peeking out of the bin and thinking sh*t.
‘Right then well we should erm go the shop then,’ I say.
‘I want to look like a grown up devil this year mom!’ Bear insists. ‘I’m not a baby anymore – I want to be a proper devil!’
I remove my surgical gloves with a satisfying smacking noise, pop the pumpkin to one side and ask my ten year old ‘grown up daughter’. ‘What does a grown up devil look like then?’
She puckers her little brow in consideration, ‘Like a... DEVIL!’
Five minutes later were standing in the Seasonal aisle in Morrison’s along with a million other we-forgot-as-well-until-five-minutes-ago parents. The Halloween stand has been turned into something resembling a jumble sale and I eye it in horrified fascination. I mean really I am not exaggerating when I say that parents are elbowing each other aside (politely of course this is middle class England after all) and foisting their children right in to pluck out the juiciest plums. Werewolfs, witches and other bizarre creatures scuttle past me holding swords and pumpkins aloft in victory.
‘A devil then mom,’ Bear says to prod me into action.
I can’t help but notice that she, clearly being rather cleverer than I, has taken refuge next to the Christmas display which is still relatively quiet.
‘We could just use lipstick?’ I suggest.
‘I need horns mom, EVERYONE knows that devils have horns and a stick and a cape!’
A cape? Since when did devils have capes? I shake my head knowing that it’s easier to just go with my orders.
‘I’ll grab anything that’s red and chuck it out to you then,’ I say and she nods in agreement.
‘Yes, just go for red but not blood I don’t want to be a vampire, Vicci’s being a vampire,’ (her older sister, teen twilight addict and general vampire devotee) ‘and they’re rubbish – especially Edward Cullen!’
I had tried to get Vicci to dress as a character out of one of my books but apparently it doesn’t count because no one would know who she was.
‘You can tell them,’ I’d suggested. ‘And give them one of my little website cards.’
Suffice as to say she’d refused and I was now inclined to agree with Bear. ‘You’re right Vic’s would have looked much better as a disaster survivor.’
‘Mooooommmmmmm!!!!!!’ Bear wails as the crowds move in even closer.
I eye the throngs again and wonder - am I going to be brave enough to jump into the melee and search out the devil?
Someone has been an extremely lazy blogger of late and thought it was about time to get things updated and make a solemn promise not to be so lazy again.
So what has been happening in my little literary world? Well I'm happy to report some pretty exciting developments;
1, In September my short story Snowman was published by the fall edition of Midnight In Hell E-Zine www.midnghtinhell.com, I was very pleased to see it out there and the editor's note that it was '...a touching tale by a debut Midnight In Hell writer' was very nice to see. Skip on over and have a read - all comments appreciated.
2, The Litopia E-zine Muse has now kicked into gear and I'm very pleased to say that I am on the editorial panel and will be contributing some pieces. We're hoping for some really big name author interviews, tips for writers as well as some fab fiction and articles. Those of you who are familiar with Litopia will know that Muse is going to be a real showcase and I'm very honoured to be involved. Watch this space for the first issue due out in the new year...
3, Tonight I had a new - nerve wracking - experience when I took part as a guest panel speaker on Litopia After Dark. This podcast reaches upto 50,000 listeners and as the newbie on the panel I was very very nervous. Stumbled a bit in places but hopefully for my first showing it wasn't too bad and they'll invite me back! Big thanks to Jai, Dave, Martyn and Peter for going easy on me and rescuing me when I was tongue tied. You can listen to the podcast here http://www.litopia.com/podcast/category/litopia-after-dark/ - comments as always are appreciated.
4, I've finally - after about 150k worth of words and many headaches settled on my new project. The Amber Droplet is coming along nicely and I'm planning to have a first draft in the new year... again watch this space.
I think that's all for now, for my next blog post I'm working on something a bit more fun than a list of my news so come back soon!
Em x
So what has been happening in my little literary world? Well I'm happy to report some pretty exciting developments;
1, In September my short story Snowman was published by the fall edition of Midnight In Hell E-Zine www.midnghtinhell.com, I was very pleased to see it out there and the editor's note that it was '...a touching tale by a debut Midnight In Hell writer' was very nice to see. Skip on over and have a read - all comments appreciated.
2, The Litopia E-zine Muse has now kicked into gear and I'm very pleased to say that I am on the editorial panel and will be contributing some pieces. We're hoping for some really big name author interviews, tips for writers as well as some fab fiction and articles. Those of you who are familiar with Litopia will know that Muse is going to be a real showcase and I'm very honoured to be involved. Watch this space for the first issue due out in the new year...
3, Tonight I had a new - nerve wracking - experience when I took part as a guest panel speaker on Litopia After Dark. This podcast reaches upto 50,000 listeners and as the newbie on the panel I was very very nervous. Stumbled a bit in places but hopefully for my first showing it wasn't too bad and they'll invite me back! Big thanks to Jai, Dave, Martyn and Peter for going easy on me and rescuing me when I was tongue tied. You can listen to the podcast here http://www.litopia.com/podcast/category/litopia-after-dark/ - comments as always are appreciated.
4, I've finally - after about 150k worth of words and many headaches settled on my new project. The Amber Droplet is coming along nicely and I'm planning to have a first draft in the new year... again watch this space.
I think that's all for now, for my next blog post I'm working on something a bit more fun than a list of my news so come back soon!
Em x
Friday, 31 July 2009
The site has been chizzazzled
Hi all,
It is the first anniversary of my website - a whole year running and the site has seen a massive 5789 visitors with page views in the tens of thousands. A big thank you to everyone who has visited and passed the link to their friends.
So a new year it is and a new update was due. I have been working my little socks off to chizazzle the site. It has had a complete overhaul and new features include;
Book reviews page
Articles features page
Shortt stories update
Newsletter sign-up
Oooo and lots of new banners and spangly things
Please take a look and if you're shopping on Amazon please do so through my site, all profits raised will be donated to Litopia, the coolest writing community on the web.
It is the first anniversary of my website - a whole year running and the site has seen a massive 5789 visitors with page views in the tens of thousands. A big thank you to everyone who has visited and passed the link to their friends.
So a new year it is and a new update was due. I have been working my little socks off to chizazzle the site. It has had a complete overhaul and new features include;
Book reviews page
Articles features page
Shortt stories update
Newsletter sign-up
Oooo and lots of new banners and spangly things
Please take a look and if you're shopping on Amazon please do so through my site, all profits raised will be donated to Litopia, the coolest writing community on the web.
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Monday, 15 June 2009
Short story is published
I'm happy to say that my first short story is now live, http://www.literarymama.com/fiction/archives/002487.html please read and enjoy - all comments appreciated x
Friday, 17 April 2009
Snowman
I am very happy to say I have had another short story accepted for publication. Snowman (which will be familiar to my Litopia friends from another one of our short story challenges) will be in the fall edition of Midnight in Hell magazine.
Two down, three to go! And a big thanks to the weather for inspiring this one.
Em x
Two down, three to go! And a big thanks to the weather for inspiring this one.
Em x
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Update
It's been a while since I've found time to post on my blog so I'm happy to start this one with some good news. I've recently had a short story accepted for publication by a literary magazine www.literarymama.com. I was really pleased that the piece was accepted as it was part of the Litopia short story challenge for Pinter house. The title is 'He Waits Helplessly' (my Litopia friends will know it as The Gift) and I'd urge you to go and have a look once it is published in June. I gave myself a challenege of five short stories published this year and five non fiction articles - so this one starts the ball rolling!
Other news? Well I have finished a complete edit of Immune, www.emmashortt.co.uk/immune more show less tell and I plan to send out some submissions to a few indie publishers at the beginning of next month. I am also chugging along very nicely on my new WIP, Fallen Angel - I'll post a sneak peek soon.
Lastly I have to say it's damn good to be back in the saddle. x x
Other news? Well I have finished a complete edit of Immune, www.emmashortt.co.uk/immune more show less tell and I plan to send out some submissions to a few indie publishers at the beginning of next month. I am also chugging along very nicely on my new WIP, Fallen Angel - I'll post a sneak peek soon.
Lastly I have to say it's damn good to be back in the saddle. x x
Friday, 13 February 2009
Tough times ahead? :(
'The worst recession ever...' Those were the words spoken by one of the leaders of the area in live in. The worst ever, was she right? I don't know - I really don't, but it got me thinking about the economic slowdown and what that means for us writers.
I have to fess up straight away that in my normal day to day life it seems difficult to believe there is a full blown recession on. People are still parked in front if their flat screens, with their sky dishes, their high speed broadband and their two cars out front. The supermarkets at least seem as busy as ever and none of my friends or colleagues are tightening up in any way. A recession always brings images, to my mind at least; of bread and dripping and grey smocks and hand woven wollen clothing and SPAM - winding queues from the job centre, strikers out in force, awful haircuts etc and I'm not seeing any of that. I'm seeing people still in their designer togs, still splashing out on pricey meals and buying extravagant valentine gifts.
So from my perspective, where is this recession... is there even one? Well yes, it seems that the headlines are difficult to ignore. Woolworths, Adams, store after store shutting their doors, mass unemployment - shares tumbling. I don't even want to consider what my pension looks like. It is happening, it's not just media scare-mongering. The greedy bankers (trying to build an economy on credit?!?!) and our ineffective government (selling our gold shares when the market was at an all time low... need I say more) have put our country in one of the most worrying positions in more years than I have been alive.
So rant over, what does this mean for us writers?
Worst case scenario: Book stores will be more cautious about the amount they order, they'll want better deals - buy one get one half price etc - they'll ask for bigger percentage discounts. This will be passed on to the publishers who will be squeezed and less likely to take a risk on an unknown unproven author. They'll be looking for the next 'big thing' - though how they'll know what that is I have no idea. Authors may get smaller advances, may have to accept lower royalties. And then the agents, they'll have to work even harder to promote the authors they do have so may be less inclined to take on new authors. Slush piles will get even bigger as authors battle to capture the attention of agents/publishers. More people will try their hand at writing - thinking it's a get rich scheme (boy they're sooo wrong) making the slush piles even huger and wearying the agents/publishers to the point of exhaustion and then in all that there's us. The writers who work so hard, the writers who are hunched over their computers for hours on end - editing and worrying and re-writing the query letter for the hundreth time and fiddling with the synopsis in the very early hours and putting their very heart and soul into every single word that drips onto their page... where are we in all of this, do we even have a chance...
Best case scenario: If you write something that is special, something that is different, new and refreshing. Something that tugs at the heart strings or brings a smile to the face of a tired agent then there is still a chance. When all is said and done if you have the talent, if you believe in yourself then the recession will matter very little. There is always room in the world for someone who belongs - someone who is doing what they were born to do. If you are meant to be a writer then a writer you will be. So stick at it, make sure you query letter is as polished as it ever can be. DO worry and fiddle with that synopsis, read it back to yourself aloud - make it perfect! Check your grammar, your spelling, check everything. Agents/publishers will be looking for a reason to reject - do not let yourself fall at the first hurdle - make your pitch as fabulous as possible and then sit back eat some spam, itch away at those wollen pants and remember the hard times wont last forever.
Emma x
I have to fess up straight away that in my normal day to day life it seems difficult to believe there is a full blown recession on. People are still parked in front if their flat screens, with their sky dishes, their high speed broadband and their two cars out front. The supermarkets at least seem as busy as ever and none of my friends or colleagues are tightening up in any way. A recession always brings images, to my mind at least; of bread and dripping and grey smocks and hand woven wollen clothing and SPAM - winding queues from the job centre, strikers out in force, awful haircuts etc and I'm not seeing any of that. I'm seeing people still in their designer togs, still splashing out on pricey meals and buying extravagant valentine gifts.
So from my perspective, where is this recession... is there even one? Well yes, it seems that the headlines are difficult to ignore. Woolworths, Adams, store after store shutting their doors, mass unemployment - shares tumbling. I don't even want to consider what my pension looks like. It is happening, it's not just media scare-mongering. The greedy bankers (trying to build an economy on credit?!?!) and our ineffective government (selling our gold shares when the market was at an all time low... need I say more) have put our country in one of the most worrying positions in more years than I have been alive.
So rant over, what does this mean for us writers?
Worst case scenario: Book stores will be more cautious about the amount they order, they'll want better deals - buy one get one half price etc - they'll ask for bigger percentage discounts. This will be passed on to the publishers who will be squeezed and less likely to take a risk on an unknown unproven author. They'll be looking for the next 'big thing' - though how they'll know what that is I have no idea. Authors may get smaller advances, may have to accept lower royalties. And then the agents, they'll have to work even harder to promote the authors they do have so may be less inclined to take on new authors. Slush piles will get even bigger as authors battle to capture the attention of agents/publishers. More people will try their hand at writing - thinking it's a get rich scheme (boy they're sooo wrong) making the slush piles even huger and wearying the agents/publishers to the point of exhaustion and then in all that there's us. The writers who work so hard, the writers who are hunched over their computers for hours on end - editing and worrying and re-writing the query letter for the hundreth time and fiddling with the synopsis in the very early hours and putting their very heart and soul into every single word that drips onto their page... where are we in all of this, do we even have a chance...
Best case scenario: If you write something that is special, something that is different, new and refreshing. Something that tugs at the heart strings or brings a smile to the face of a tired agent then there is still a chance. When all is said and done if you have the talent, if you believe in yourself then the recession will matter very little. There is always room in the world for someone who belongs - someone who is doing what they were born to do. If you are meant to be a writer then a writer you will be. So stick at it, make sure you query letter is as polished as it ever can be. DO worry and fiddle with that synopsis, read it back to yourself aloud - make it perfect! Check your grammar, your spelling, check everything. Agents/publishers will be looking for a reason to reject - do not let yourself fall at the first hurdle - make your pitch as fabulous as possible and then sit back eat some spam, itch away at those wollen pants and remember the hard times wont last forever.
Emma x
Friday, 6 February 2009
The Roaring Fire
Sometimes in life when you have a million and one things to do you have to prioritise. The more important things get moved to the front (in my case moving house, settling my children in to their new home, a huge workload in my paying job etc etc) whilst other things get moved to the back.
It's easy to imagine that writing could be one of those things that could shift easily to the back. It's just a hobby, it's not that important etc are some of the comments I have heard. But this is so far from true.
In my case at least the act of writing, putting my thoughts and ideas into a story is like a little fire in my brain. When I'm writing regularly the fire burns merrily in the corner. It's a constant burn, almost like I'm feeding it a steady supply of fuel. When I am not writing something every day you would expect almost that the fire would stutter and begin to dim, but no that is not what happens. The fire turns into a blaze, it roars and screams at me to feed it. The thoughts and ideas explode around in my head begging to get out. The fire is like their mental manifestation consuming my brain and seeking release. Writing will not let me put it on the back burner, it will not let me de-prioritise it.
Is this a good thing..?
I think it must be - the things that consume us in life are surely the things that are the most important. The fire has to be fed and so feed it I will.
It's easy to imagine that writing could be one of those things that could shift easily to the back. It's just a hobby, it's not that important etc are some of the comments I have heard. But this is so far from true.
In my case at least the act of writing, putting my thoughts and ideas into a story is like a little fire in my brain. When I'm writing regularly the fire burns merrily in the corner. It's a constant burn, almost like I'm feeding it a steady supply of fuel. When I am not writing something every day you would expect almost that the fire would stutter and begin to dim, but no that is not what happens. The fire turns into a blaze, it roars and screams at me to feed it. The thoughts and ideas explode around in my head begging to get out. The fire is like their mental manifestation consuming my brain and seeking release. Writing will not let me put it on the back burner, it will not let me de-prioritise it.
Is this a good thing..?
I think it must be - the things that consume us in life are surely the things that are the most important. The fire has to be fed and so feed it I will.
Monday, 19 January 2009
A new cover from Andre
When I finished Immune I created myself a little cover to go with it. I hated giving out beta copies without something on top - jumping the gun a wee bit I know but it felt more like a 'book' to me that way! Anyhow my cover was nothing fancy by any means, I put it together on Word with clipart and then somehow(I can't recall how exactly) I managed to turn it into a jpeg and post it on my website. http://emmashortt.co.uk/immunecover.aspx.
Now just the other day a lovely chap called Andre from my Facebook group To Stalk a Publisher e-mailed for some advice about the length of his novel. I replied with the advice I have been given by my Litopian crew and he e-mailed me back with a thank you and a little present.
That little present was a new cover for Immune. Andre had taken the original one and done some whizzyness to produce me the cover above. I have to say I really like it - It was kind of strange to have someone creating a cover for a book I love so much and one that I happened to write!
So a big thank you to Andre for his creativeness.
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Tagged
I've Been Tagged by Kate
So Kate tells me this is how it works: Display the award. Link back to the person who gave you this award. Nominate at least 7 other blogs. Put links to those blogs on your blog. Leave a message on the blogs of the people you’ve nominated. You can only answer in one word.
1. Where is your cell phone? Here
2. Where is your significant other? Work
3. Your hair colour? Black
4. Your mother? Birmingham
5. Your father? Dead
6. Your favourite thing? Passion
7. Your dream last night? Absent
8. Your dream/goal? Published
9. The room you’re in? Kitchen
10. Your hobby? Writing
11. Your fear? Zombies
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Published
13. Where were you last night? Kickboxing
14. What you’re not? Nasty
15. One of your wish-list items? Happiness
16. Where you grew up? City
17. The last thing you did? Type
18. What are you wearing? T-shirt
19. Your TV? Off
20. Your pet? Deceased
21. Your computer? Fab
22. Your mood? Mischevious
23. Missing someone? No
24. Your car? Parked
25. Something you’re not wearing? Earmuffs
26. Favourite store? Waterstones
27. Your summer? Difficult
28. Love someone? Possibly
29. Your favourite colour? Black
30. When is the last time you laughed? Just
31. Last time you cried? Earlier
And I will tag...
Richard Donna lynn Brian Pete Richard John
Saturday, 3 January 2009
Open my book, open my heart...
I was intrigued by a thread from a Liopian friend regarding romance in his WIP. It immediately made me think of Immune and the high levels of romancation involved. I remember when I sent it to my brother to read, he phoned back and after giving me some great feedback said to me, Wow I didn't realise you were such a romantic - you kept that one quiet didn't ya. I of course cringed whilst blushing furiously. They're just characters, it's not real!
Now I do quite a good job as the cynical I-don't-do-romance type (whilst stashing my steamy books under my bed)but I've now realised that my books totally blow my cover. They are chok-o-block with sighing and longing and lurve. I've come up with some lines and then re-read them a few weeks later and been like, Em - no you didn't really write that did you?!?!
And now I'm thinking, geez if someone reads my book they're gonna know I'm a total fraud, the whole - they're-just-my-characters-I-would-never-say-anything-like-that defence is pretty shaky.
I'm considering a pen name.
Now I do quite a good job as the cynical I-don't-do-romance type (whilst stashing my steamy books under my bed)but I've now realised that my books totally blow my cover. They are chok-o-block with sighing and longing and lurve. I've come up with some lines and then re-read them a few weeks later and been like, Em - no you didn't really write that did you?!?!
And now I'm thinking, geez if someone reads my book they're gonna know I'm a total fraud, the whole - they're-just-my-characters-I-would-never-say-anything-like-that defence is pretty shaky.
I'm considering a pen name.
Wednesday, 31 December 2008
Happy New Year
A very happy new year to everyone. I hope that 2009 brings you everything that you hope for.
Emma x
Emma x
Saturday, 20 December 2008
It's time to kick it baby
Right it's the end of the year and there's nay a publisher in freakin sight. I haven't captured an agent... ok there might be one or two in my scope but no capturage as yet. So it is time to up the ante.
Gawd I can't even tell you how much I loathe the whole-everything-is-out-of-my-hands feeling. I'm sending out my submissions and waiting and waiting and biting off my electric blue/emerald green/pulsating purple/blue me away/risque red etc nail varnishes and developing a worrying nervous tick. It's time to try and wrestle back some control.
I sat down today and thought okkkaayyy, I can write, I like my books, I love creating them, people DO want to read them - I have a list of buyers, I have my teen readers e-mailing me and moaning for copies... something's got to be done. So I drank quite a bit of diet coke, ate too many celebrations and played 'Listen' by Beyonce about twenty times and then I decided on a plan of action.
When it comes right down to it an agent takes on your project because it will make them money, as of course they should. That is their job, they need to buy food for their cats and pay their book store bills just like the rest of us. Ergo an agent will take you on if you can show them that baby you can ring those tills. A publisher will publish your book because they want to sell lots of copies and make lots of money - this you see is how awful celeb autobiographies end up taking up space in our bookstores.
So it's obvious right, I need to show said agent and then said publisher that I can produce the dollars.
How to do so? Well here comes my plan of action... dem dem dem... reader-recruit.
Now I'm coining this as an official term, reader-recruit will henceforth be known as the strategy undertaken by an unpublished authour to collect such a vast amount of future readers that an agent's eyes will pop in glee and a publisher will sign her to a five book deal instantly whilst bouncing around in a state of hyperactivity. The author will show gleeful agent and bouncing publisher an excel sheet containing thousands and thousands of names (real ones) all of readers who have been recruited to the cause. These readers will all be salivating for a copy, they will be waiting and ready to buy on release date... and there you have reader-recruit.
Now I'm not going to go into my reader-recruit strategies in detail - 'cause they're techy and kinda boring but suffice to say they involve a banging website, an OH-SOMEONE-HELP-ME kinda blog, Bebo fan groups, Facebook sign up to the cause groups, Myspace bulletins and various other web-related publicity tools.
So far reader-recruit is at 476 people (web addresses harvested from my site, fans from the Immune group on Bebo and fans from the newly launched WE WANT IMMUNE PUBLISHED' Facebook group)and baby it's gonna rise - the target is 1000 by Jan.
So c'mon pledge yourself to the list - join the cause - be part of reader-recruit.
P.S. I have a rather fab GothEmBlack varnish I want to wear, my pale nails are crying out for it - only with your help may they wear varnish again!
Gawd I can't even tell you how much I loathe the whole-everything-is-out-of-my-hands feeling. I'm sending out my submissions and waiting and waiting and biting off my electric blue/emerald green/pulsating purple/blue me away/risque red etc nail varnishes and developing a worrying nervous tick. It's time to try and wrestle back some control.
I sat down today and thought okkkaayyy, I can write, I like my books, I love creating them, people DO want to read them - I have a list of buyers, I have my teen readers e-mailing me and moaning for copies... something's got to be done. So I drank quite a bit of diet coke, ate too many celebrations and played 'Listen' by Beyonce about twenty times and then I decided on a plan of action.
When it comes right down to it an agent takes on your project because it will make them money, as of course they should. That is their job, they need to buy food for their cats and pay their book store bills just like the rest of us. Ergo an agent will take you on if you can show them that baby you can ring those tills. A publisher will publish your book because they want to sell lots of copies and make lots of money - this you see is how awful celeb autobiographies end up taking up space in our bookstores.
So it's obvious right, I need to show said agent and then said publisher that I can produce the dollars.
How to do so? Well here comes my plan of action... dem dem dem... reader-recruit.
Now I'm coining this as an official term, reader-recruit will henceforth be known as the strategy undertaken by an unpublished authour to collect such a vast amount of future readers that an agent's eyes will pop in glee and a publisher will sign her to a five book deal instantly whilst bouncing around in a state of hyperactivity. The author will show gleeful agent and bouncing publisher an excel sheet containing thousands and thousands of names (real ones) all of readers who have been recruited to the cause. These readers will all be salivating for a copy, they will be waiting and ready to buy on release date... and there you have reader-recruit.
Now I'm not going to go into my reader-recruit strategies in detail - 'cause they're techy and kinda boring but suffice to say they involve a banging website, an OH-SOMEONE-HELP-ME kinda blog, Bebo fan groups, Facebook sign up to the cause groups, Myspace bulletins and various other web-related publicity tools.
So far reader-recruit is at 476 people (web addresses harvested from my site, fans from the Immune group on Bebo and fans from the newly launched WE WANT IMMUNE PUBLISHED' Facebook group)and baby it's gonna rise - the target is 1000 by Jan.
So c'mon pledge yourself to the list - join the cause - be part of reader-recruit.
P.S. I have a rather fab GothEmBlack varnish I want to wear, my pale nails are crying out for it - only with your help may they wear varnish again!
Thursday, 11 December 2008
Vampore Bore...
I love vampires, I mean really - they're my favourite ever mythical creatures. The fangs, the good looks the whole broody element... sigh.
However it seems to be really difficult to create an original vampire novel. You write about a ass kicking heroine and she's compared to Buffy, you write a smouldering hottie and he's compared to Edward Cullen and accents... nuh hu you're entering Dracula territory here.
So what's the solution? Well I am going to have to write a vampie novel - just gonna have to. I won't be happy till I do but how to make it original? I cannot have a weepy, wimpy heroine, nope my female heroes have to be strong and tough and a bit rebellious (I have to set an example here) and I cannot have an fugly vampire hero, he simply has to be hot and smouldering and a bit tortured whilst of course still chugging down the blood - and they have to be mortal enemies who will fight each other to the death whilst being overwhelmed with desire for one another.
A bit copycat, a bit generic - it kind of seems that way doesn't it... so how about I make my heroine another mythical creature - a Fairy or a Furie or something similar. And how about I make my vamp hottie a prince about to be crowned the vamp king. And let's throw in that she's been trained her entire life to hunt and kill him and that he plans to torture her to death before swilling her mythical blood. And then they meet and whoa hoo... the chemistry.
Throw in a mutiny so that they're set on the same side - having to depend on each other for survival, loathing each other whilst falling into the abyss... how is this sounding, am I exciting anyone here...?
However it seems to be really difficult to create an original vampire novel. You write about a ass kicking heroine and she's compared to Buffy, you write a smouldering hottie and he's compared to Edward Cullen and accents... nuh hu you're entering Dracula territory here.
So what's the solution? Well I am going to have to write a vampie novel - just gonna have to. I won't be happy till I do but how to make it original? I cannot have a weepy, wimpy heroine, nope my female heroes have to be strong and tough and a bit rebellious (I have to set an example here) and I cannot have an fugly vampire hero, he simply has to be hot and smouldering and a bit tortured whilst of course still chugging down the blood - and they have to be mortal enemies who will fight each other to the death whilst being overwhelmed with desire for one another.
A bit copycat, a bit generic - it kind of seems that way doesn't it... so how about I make my heroine another mythical creature - a Fairy or a Furie or something similar. And how about I make my vamp hottie a prince about to be crowned the vamp king. And let's throw in that she's been trained her entire life to hunt and kill him and that he plans to torture her to death before swilling her mythical blood. And then they meet and whoa hoo... the chemistry.
Throw in a mutiny so that they're set on the same side - having to depend on each other for survival, loathing each other whilst falling into the abyss... how is this sounding, am I exciting anyone here...?
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
All about the emotion
I've often wondered how the emotional state of the author affects the emotional state of the writing. Can you ever truly write about heartbreak unless you've had your own heart pummeled? Can you ever really convey the dizzying effects of love unless you've fallen yourself?
When you are a bit depressed is it better to write the black parts of your WIP? If you're all happy and loved up does that make the love scenes all the more poignant - more meaningful?
It's a tricky area and I guess I only have my own experiences to answer it. I know that when I am feeling a bit bleak I cannot write a happy cheery scene, when I'm in love I want to write about that and not about anything depressing. So does it therefore mean that happy people can't really ever write a really dark book and that chronicly sad types can't really get away with writing an uplifting story?
I honestly don't know. It may just be that this is a very personal thing - something that is different for each writer. Maybe like how some writers can get away with writing about an area they've never visited and some can research a certain profession and then sound like they've been pickling gherkins since the year dot.
Prehaps when you get right down to it it's the emotions themselves that matter, whether an author has experienced them or not - if they can make you believe they have then is that job done?
When you are a bit depressed is it better to write the black parts of your WIP? If you're all happy and loved up does that make the love scenes all the more poignant - more meaningful?
It's a tricky area and I guess I only have my own experiences to answer it. I know that when I am feeling a bit bleak I cannot write a happy cheery scene, when I'm in love I want to write about that and not about anything depressing. So does it therefore mean that happy people can't really ever write a really dark book and that chronicly sad types can't really get away with writing an uplifting story?
I honestly don't know. It may just be that this is a very personal thing - something that is different for each writer. Maybe like how some writers can get away with writing about an area they've never visited and some can research a certain profession and then sound like they've been pickling gherkins since the year dot.
Prehaps when you get right down to it it's the emotions themselves that matter, whether an author has experienced them or not - if they can make you believe they have then is that job done?
Sunday, 30 November 2008
If only we could all do this...
Just imagine sending a similar response to an agent...
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