Anything But Ordinary

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please...

The words of a rather catching Avril Lavinge song, I was listening to it the other day and it got me thinking. If I had to choose a song which reflected me it would surely be this one. Some of the lines jumped right out at me and struck a rather loud chord.

'Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out'
Yes, that would be me where the book is concerened. I'm totally weird and obsessive about it - not in a bad way (disclaimer in case an agent is reading and thinking nuh uh not working with that freak) in a good OMG this will be published kind of way.
In real life? Yes that is kind of true again actually...

'I wanna scream it makes me feel alive'
Writing does that for me, when the characters flow from my brain to the paper - when I'm creating a whole new world I feel like I'm following in the footsteps of the old story tellers who have come before me, sat around a camp fire, scratching art on cave walls - just enjoying the process of getting it out there, the feeling can hardly be described.
In the context of real life - what good is doing something if it doesn't make you feel alive?

'Is it enough to love'
In the context of the book no, loving it is not enough, it has to be totally believed in, continually obsessed over and adored. It has to fill you completely until you fall in love with your characters, until you know them as well as you know yourself - until you talk to them and dream about them.
In the context of real life bit off topic here but I'm feeling introspective tonight, I would have to say yes - true, real, actual love - the sort we write about, the sort we compose poems in awe of, the sort we all search for but so very rarely find - that should always be enough.

'Somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed'
I felt that way the other day when I had my first rejection of the full manuscript. Agonising, gut churning, heartbreaking... but what is pain for if not to make us stronger? When we're bleeding and low we learn the lessons we would never have ordinarily got a chance to and as that is true for publishing so is it for real life.

'To walk within the lines would make my life so boring, I want to know that I have been to the extreme - so knock me off my feet... anything to make me feel alive'
Always, always in every single aspect of my life. When fate decides my time is up I want to know that I have done everything in this life I ever intended to, I want to know that I have pushed myself and worked myself and loved every single moment I was given. I never want to walk within the lines... and you know so far I don't think I ever have.

'I'd rather be anything than ordinary please...'
Of course this just sums everything up in my writing, my thinking, in all that I do, in the very way I live my life - what good I ask you is ordinary???