It is the sound that strikes fear into the heart of every writer, the sound then sends your stomach dropping to your knees and the 'OHGODNOTAGAIN' reflex kick into action. It is a sound now burned into my brain.
The Thud of the rejection on the floor. (Yes I'm capitalizing it - it's worth a capital T! The emotion alone that sound enduces demands a capital.)
I'm now on my fifth Thud - I escaped three thanks to a late postie. Those lovelies involved a phone call from my teen, 'Erm mom... there's like a brown envelope and erm it's, well, I think it's a rejection - shall I open it?' Chewage of lip, shudder ever so slightly, it might be good news, it might, it might!!! 'Yes open it, read it, quick, quick WHAT DOES IS SAY??'
Suffice as to say the 'it might' turned quickly into 'it isn't'.
I have found two Thud created reactions within me. The first is a defensive type retort, well yeah ok but you'll be sorry one day, you'll so regret refusing me!Just wait till I sell millions! The second, why, why, what did I do wrong, why don't you like it? Can't you see what I see? Two very different reactions but in essence both the same.
8 rejections, 8 Thuds - when is it all a Thud too many? Well the answer is not quite yet, my teen had some rather comforting words for me today. 'Mom you will get published one day - of course you will! Someone will snap you up... the chances are you'll be mad by then from all the rejection and stuff and I'll have put you in a mental institute but don't worry I'll make sure you have a computer so you can write more books.' 'Yes,' I replied, 'but no one will buy books from a mad author.' 'No that's fine,' she assured me, 'I'll take the credit for all your work - you know as a favour...'
As that didn't quite bring me the feelings of joy she intended this little quote did:
"No one put a gun to your head and ordered you to become a writer. One writes out of his own choice and must be prepared to take the rough spots along the road with a certain equanimity, though allowed some grinding of the teeth."
Stanley Ellin
Either or - but the Thuds can take that!
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
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2 comments:
Frustrating isn't it? All you can do is keep on trying. The One is out there...waiting....
They don't know it's Immune they're waiting for - but they are
:-)
Hey, people do read stuff by mad authors. In fact, it's a pre-requisite to being a writer! Just keep telling yourself that, in spite of the fact that these people get paid hundreds of thousands for ghost-writing junk, you're a million times better than the likes of Katie Price!
Oh, and the Booker Prize is around the corner - that's when you can say, "Ha, I bet you regret turning me down now, don't you?!"
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